IT'S FROM MY HEART

We graduated together from the same institution and we were very good friends. Our friendship deepened when I saw his easygoingness, godliness and peaceful temperamental nature. How can I forget this one - He's also a good cook too!

An irksome event occured between him and his friend (a female) sometime ago. It sounded preposterous when he told me. He gave me an advice this morning to tell others if need be. (At least, he knows I love writing)

***

Before the incident, they were very good friends. They spent a reasonable amount of time talking and ironing out some issues together. They were both science student and they attended the same fellowship on campus.

One indisputable attribute I know about this my friend is that he's a giver. The soft part of him is very wide.

He came back from a little break and he did something - He brought a little gift for this his nice friend. What was the content of this gift? A designers skirt with a black-ash design. "It's a very fine skirt." he said to me, describing the beauty of the skirt.

So it was something like this:

'Hey! How was your holiday now?"

'It wasn't bad. Thanks to God. And yours?'

'Mine was cool.'

'I brought something for you'

'What's that?'

'That's it', giving her the package.

'Oh, thank you so much. I really appreciate'

.

.

Maybe she didn't check out the gift before leaving. Now, let me tell you the action part of this movie. Are you there?

(Clearing throat)

After she found out that it was a beautiful skirt, heaven came down and the glories of heaven filled her soul. She did something that's common with some ladies. For three weeks, she started snubbing my brother-friend. I don't know what was going on in her mind o. Maybe she thought he was trying to ask her out or do some funny stuffs.

(But, wait o. She snubbed you for three weeks. You came to school to begin a semester. You wanted to get something for a friend who's a lady, you didn't give her a soft bread, crunchy snacks, you didn't give her tantalizer or Mr Biggs, you didn't buy a Motivational, Inspirational or Devotional book, you didn't buy onions, it is skirt you brought. DESIGNER SKIRT!!! Haba. How did you know her size?)

It was so funny when he narrated the issue to me.

-Let's continue -

Well, he gave her the gift and the result was snubbing for a while. It never crossed his mind that she'll think otherwise because she was a little bit older than him. He gave her with a pure motive. I knew that because we've been together for some years now and I know him very well. If he had some backyard motives, he would have told me.

After a little period of that misunderstanding, the sour friendship came back to normalcy.

Trust this brother now. When I asked him what his advice was to brothers giving gifts to sisters, he said, "Don't even give the females gift at all. It blinds their heart. And it's a road to the heart. Because some ladies are emotionally weak when it comes to gift..."

He was speaking based on his own experience. It's not his fault though.

***

Friends, I'm a realist when it comes to issues like this.

Should we completely avoid giving gifts or assisting the opposite sex when the need to do so surfaces because of one or two odds or misunderstanding? Should we stand aloof when giving to/receiving gifts from the opposite sex comes up?

As a leader and non-leader, I have given countless number of gifts to the opposite sex. From Spiritual literatures, motivational books down to little edible stuffs when the need arises. I can't remember anyone of them thinking otherwise. Maybe they did but I try as much as possible to be very free and open when dealing with issues that pertains to the opposite sex. In the long run, it can be very complex and frustrating when done secretly. God has really been my strength in this area.

Sir/Ma, when you begin to buy or give out gifts or materials to the opposite sex that are very sensitive or with a comma around it, then you're looking for serious trouble. How can you buy a set of boxers(shorts) for a Beloved brother you casually greet? Ain't you looking trouble?

I'll also succumb to the opinion of defining the gifts if need be to the person you're giving. You can do that with wisdom. The individual will still get the message most especially when you don't disturb with all those FREQUENT, 'I-just-wanted-to-say-Hi' calls every blessed day. I call those kind of calls '24/7 disturbance.'

And let me face thee who like receiving GIFTS FOR AFRICA. Yes! I mean YOU that can collect gift like somebody who they've orientated that "it's more blessed to RECIEVE than to give." CONTINUE.

From popcorn in the mall to roasted corn under hot sun in the market.

From designer shoes in the day to suya-meat in the night.

Your room is now filled with all kinds of gifts like someone who's planning to open a little supermarket along the street. You can't even remember who gave you some of the gifts again. When the day to pay arrives from those guys who can give gifts with comma inside, your eyes will open. KEEP COLLECTING AND ACCUMULATING. I'm clapping for you in French.

Maybe that's the reason you like buying big-big hand bags. It's well with you.

In my own opinion, I think the content of the gift, the level of assistance and the motive behind the gift matters a lot. (Especially when there's nothing in-between)

Also, if you know your heart is too frail to receive some kind of gifts, it's not out of place to appreciate the giver's sincere heart in it and return it back. Your peace of mind should be more important to you than 'things' people give you.

The Ancient book admonishes us on matters like this. It says gifts has the potential of blinding the eyes of the wise and also perverting justice. See Deuteronomy 16:19.

There's nothing bad in giving or receiving gifts in itself.

So in a nutshell,

Givers, give with caution.

Recievers, collect with caution.